Tuesday, May 17

Parenthood in daydreaming

Maladaptive daydreams can sometimes display complex familial structures and this week we asked daydreamers whether they were parents in their daydreams and whether parenthood played a major role in them.

For a large part the answer turned negative, interestingly those who answered so made a direct link between their real life and their daydreams: not wanting kids, they don’t imagine having them either in their imaginary lives.

For those who were not opposed to it, parenthood is often depicted in an idyllic fashion:

“I have had daydreaming phases where I was pregnant or holding my newborn in my arms, hugging and rocking it. I never daydreamed the “bad sides” of having a baby such as switching diapers, baby cries, being woken up at night… in short, everything down to earth and not… “dream material”.Those daydreams are linked,I think, to a real desire but one I can’t address for now.”

However, relationships can also be quite difficult:

“It’s really rare that I daydream having a child, and it’s always bad: horrible pregnancy, depression post-partum, baby screaming at night, baby I don’t love. In quite a lot of those daydreams, I only end up loving my child as he becomes more independent, around 5 years old.”

For others, childrens seem to be inspired by fantastic models:

“Some of my characters have childrens and we usually get along well, they’re usually really smart with singular passions, powers, secrets.”

Interestingly we notice another type of parenthood in which the child seems to represent the need to speak aloud and transmit an education, the role of the daydreamer being the one of a tutor and the infantile traits of the child being less developed.

“Actually, I talk to him as if he was an adult. I mainly have the role of a tutor when there’s a child (mine here), I teach him to become a decent adult, humble and to develop his thinking/intelligence.”

“I imagine doing for him what I wish had been done for me, and teach him those things he’d need to know”

Finally we can find in all these parenthood testimonies all the traits and mechanics of maladaptive daydreaming: idealized relationships to bring comfort or on the opposite conflictual ones to serve as catharsis to exteriorize and solve anxiety and conflicts, we can also find relationships serving as a way to express ideas and convictions.

Author : Zarelion

Proofreader :Askja