Thursday, October 6

Be focused on changing

Many people ask me if I have some suggestions about how to deal with maladaptive daydreaming.

To start with, you should not expect a shortcut. There won’t be a pill that solves all your problems.

First thing first, you have to consider psychotherapy.
Even if maladaptive daydreaming isn’t an officially recognized disorder, it is a mental issue anyway, so it can improve with psychotherapy.

But when you go to a therapist, remember that he is not a sorcerer and won’t solve all the problems with a magic wand.


You need to be an active part of the change.

In fact, healing and getting better aren’t something that falls from above. It is very much upon you, you have to decide if you really want that change. This could look trivial, but it is not.
Many people aren’t eager to make a real effort and change something of their life, because… well, it’s hard, really hard.

But getting rid of the addiction of maladaptive daydreaming is a change, so you should give yourself a starting date, like: “From that day on I commit myself to address this issue”.

Otherwise, it will be just like the diet that is always going to start next Monday but never does.

Once you’ve decided that you really wish to face the Maladaptive Daydreaming you have to stay focused on changing.

I like the word “tuned”, as it reminds me of the radio.
Maybe the youngster among us of you are more used to the Internet world but once upon a time
to tune a radio you had to turn a knob and you heard background noise, like an hisss…and only when you were tuned to the right frequency, you were to hear a crystal clear voice or music.

In the same way, when you want to undertake an inner change you must be focused, tuned on that specific “internal frequency”, even if at the beginning you don’t exactly know what to do.

Just have your mindset focused on change. Just like the radio, sooner or later the right words, the right songs, will come out, but you’ll have to stay tuned.
So how can you stay tuned on the right channel?

There are many ways.

Here are some examples.

Keep a diary writing on daily basis things that we consider relevant, such as emotions that you feel, or record the episodes of Maladaptive Daydreaming, when they occur, how you feel, what had triggered them.

You can also read books about personal growth, or watch videos about this topic.

Start good habits, like meditation. Be an active part of a maladaptive daydreaming community.

In the end, it’s all about setting a daily space to take care of yourself, even a tiny space but frequent. I dare say an everyday space.

The target is to stay with your mind on the desire for self-improvement.
This mental attitude is actually the basis for any improvement.


I have spoken about this in the following video.